If this is not a closure..

I haven't been feeling my best lately.
Coughing fits that wouldn't subside. Tonsils kembang semacam je. Feeling feverish, tapi I don't think I'm down with fever, nor flu.
Not to mention the more frequent - and intense - moodswings.

(Hmm, macam pernah rasa je before. *sigh*)

* * *

One day soon, someone might just pinch me and say: "You've had your little bit of heaven. Now it's time to pay, and pay with a bit of hell."

Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know, really.

* * *

I was watching One Tree Hill earlier today (yeah, harini cuti. Tengok TV lah, apa lagi nak buat kan?).. It was.. a sad episode. With lots of separations, and goodbyes. Closures. And with that comes a myriad of emotions...

I love One Tree Hill, but sometimes I simply cannot tahan all the sad emotions going round in that series. I would be crying my eyes out most of the time. In fact just now I did cry - only.. I didn't realise I was crying until I felt the pillow getting wet.

* * *

I can understand the need for closures. For most people, a closure means it's time to move on. To let go. To start a new beginning, maybe with someone else, maybe at a new place, or a new job, or a new something...


* * *

Is this closure, then?
If the answer is yes, I don't know if I'm ready to start fresh.

But..

If this is not a closure...
Then why does it feel like one?